


Where's the 'us' in trust gone?

by Cat221b



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-07
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 13:42:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2734709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat221b/pseuds/Cat221b
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I think it takes place after 6x08. Caroline can't deal with hurt and runs away. But maybe things are not as hopeless as she thought... Is she willing to accept it though?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Losing hope

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written for a while... So don't judge too hard. Please? :)
> 
> Yes, I changed the work title... I just heard this song and I thought that it suits really well...

Somehow she finds herself watching old pictures again. She knows she shouldn't, but she can't help it. It's been a year since she saw him, but it still hurts so much. Caroline runs a finger across the picture and sighs. Lonely drop of water falls on the photograph and girl shakes her head while brushing it away. She promised. The day she walked away, she had promised that she will never cry because of a boy again. Only later she found out that some promises are hard to keep.

 _"Care, please don't do that." Blonde girl rushing through the room stops for a minute and looks at her friend_  
 _"I... I can't be here," before throwing her toothbrush in the duffel bag._  
 _Brown eyes are watching her carefully. "But we just got Bonnie back. Do you imagine how she feels?"_  
 _"Stop it! Bonnie cares about my happiness. It's not like we don't have internet and phones." snaps blonde, before zipping up the bag._  
 _"Oh Care," brunette girl rises from the bed and walks to her friend. "I want you to be happy also. I just don't want to lose you."_  
 _Caroline throws her hands around Elena. "You won't lose me. I'll be on the other side of the phone whenever you need me. Always."_  
  
She had left in a hurry. But she felt that she was slowly dying in there. And she just had to get away. She remembered calling her mother about that. It had gone easier than she had thought.

_"Mom."_  
 _"Sweetheart? Is everything okay?"_  
 _"Yes. Mom... I need to get away. Can you please give me Ashleys number?"_  
 _She bits her lip nervously while waiting and then the silence is broken by her mothers surprised voice._  
 _"Sure. But you have to tell me why."_

So she had told her. The call ended up lasting 2 hours. She sighs again and puts the photograph away. This was wrong, she shouldn't have taken it. But sometimes it's not easy to let go.

_"Here." Bonnie gives her a small envelope while trying to smile._  
 _Caroline looks at her with confused eyes "What's that?"_  
 _"This is something you should always keep in memory. This is what you have. In here. Just remember it."_  
 _Blonde girl takes envelope and puts it in the front pocket of her bag._  
 _"Wish you wouldn't go."_  
 _"I know..."_  
 _"But you know that I know that it's something you have to do, right?"_  
 _"Yeah..." Bonnie hugs Caroline until Liz honks the car horn._  
 _"I should go..._  
 _" "Did you tell him?"_  
 _"No. "_

Caroline still remembers the glance she got from Bonnie for that. She knew that it's wrong. That she needed to explain, but... She just couldn't. Because she knew that one look in those eyes and she would've stayed. That's just something you can't explain...

Pain... It demands to be felt. And Caroline had felt it. From the moment she met him she had known.

Girl shook her head again, so that already messy hair got even more messier and stood. It was raining and Ashley was away so she had this old place all by herself. Slowly she made her way to the kitchen. Listening the kettle whistling she ran away in her memories again. She had tried so hard to erase everything. But it kept coming back.

_"Caroline... You and me. It's not going to happen."_

Blonde squeezed her eyes tight and wrapped the blanket more around herself. How is that possible that mere words can make you feel like someone is pushing wooden stake inside you? Why can mind eliminate all the good things, so that only the bad stay? Tea in one hand and book in another she stepped outside on the porch. If she listened carefully, she could hear distant rumbling which got louder, a sign that thunder is coming closer. It was quite a heavy storm, but it didn't scare her. It was like the weather was mirroring the way she felt everyday.

She put tea cup and book on the small table and sat on the comfortable rocking chair. It has been there ever since she remembered. She remembered when she was just a little girl sitting there and aunt Ashley was taking horses inside late. It had been dark already when she saw stable light going out and Ash coming. She had smelled of hay and horses. And then she had sat there and talked with her until she had fallen asleep. Nothing had changed, only the girl sitting in the chair now, had sad eyes and smile. But sitting there, looking at the stable and listening rain, she almost felt that maybe she could be happy again. Right there, in the corner of small county, with bigger city 78 miles away, she could try to be happy.

_"How are you doing?" Bonnie and Elena were both on the phone. Some sort of group conversation._  
 _"Great actually. Working with horses finally. Ashley lets me do my own thing and yeah... I feel fine." Caroline tried to smile. Month after leaving had been quite hard. "You sound sad..."_  
 _"I am. But I'm getting better, I promise." She had decided to be honest from now on. No more lies, world was already full of them. Except..._  
 _"He asked where did you go."_  
 _"Lena..."_  
 _Hearing the panic in her voice, other two had tried to assure her. "No no. You know that we won't say, right? We wouldn't do that to you."_

Soon after that they had changed the topic. She knew that her friends didn't approve her behavior, but she really wasn't ready to face him. Damon had joined the conversation also, for some reason he had find the name of Carolines horse amusing. Count de Sangue. Like... What's the big deal? She knew that Sangue was blood in Portuguese, so maybe because of that. Her being a vampire and riding a horse named Count of Blood... Yeah... Maybe. They ended the conversation saying that they miss her. That **all** of them miss her.

Storm was quite near now. For a second when lightning lighted up the sky, she thought that she saw a figure near the gate, but when she looked again, there was no one. And she was a vampire, not many things to be afraid in this life when you're stronger than most people, she reminded herself. Scared that her book might get wet when rain starts to come more diagonally, she picked it up and went to put it inside. On the kitchen table was an envelope.

With shaking hands she picked it up and recognized it's the same one that Bonnie had given her. She felt the breath leaving her while she stumbled back outside. Leaning on the porch was a familiar figure.

Green eyes met blue when he spoke. "I think it's time for you to come home..."


	2. Finding hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh. That's even worse than the first one.   
> I think I've never written about someone kissing someone. And I think it has too much dialogue. Oh well...
> 
> Oh. And I stopped watching TVD in season 4. So... If they're out of character, my bad. It's just... I really like the idea of them together. And tumblr kept me updated :D 
> 
> Of course, now I'm watching s6.

It was good that she had her back against the wall, or she would have fallen.

"Stefan..."

She clenched her fists, that's it, she will kill Bonnie and Elena. Best friends or not.   
Named man looked at her carefully and before she could say anything else, he interrupted her.

"None of your friends betrayed you. I found out where you are all by myself. I was searching you..."

Blue eyes stared at him with disbelief. There were so many things that Caroline would have wanted to ask him, but only one rose above all of them.

"Why?"

He remembered when he had asked her the same question. Only about something else... "Why did I found out?"

"Why did you search me?" Caroline was not in the mood of running in circles. She just didn't understand. What the hell was he doing in there? How didn't he understand why she had left? Or maybe he did?   
_No stop that!_

"I missed my best friend?"

"A little late for that don't you think? You should leave."

"Caroline... I..."

"No. Stefan. Seriously. Don't. Did you know why I left? Did you even think about it?" Caroline felt tears prickling in the corner of her eye, but now was not the time to stop. All the anger, disappointment and sadness came suddenly out.

"Do you know that since the moment I met you, I haven't been able to think about anyone else? Yes, all of the guys I was with. I think I loved them. I really do. The problem was, I always loved you more. And that's even not the biggest reason. Unrequited love? Sure, I could have done that. After all, I had done that a long time already. I had watched and stood next to you whenever you needed, even though I knew that I wasn't that important to you. I watched you love someone else and it was okay. It hurt, but it really was okay, because you were happy." She took a deep breath before continuing. "But do you know what was the worst part? You came into my life like a silly crush and rejected me. I got over it. I dated someone else. But somehow you became my best friend. You believed in me, even when I didn't. You made me believe that you cared. You kept me breathing. You were always there for me. There were times when I was ready to give up and only you kept me going. I trusted you! And you just walked away."

Girl stood now, eyes flashing while she stepped closer to the boy who tried to look away.

"I needed my best friend! I was dying inside and I. Needed. You."

Stefan met her eyes and she could see the pain and regret in his eyes but somehow she just didn't find herself able to care. When she saw that the other one prepares to speak, she continued.

"And I still trust you so much... So so much... I would trust you with my life. But I don't trust you with one thing. If walking away was so easy the first time... Then how can I trust that you won't do it again. And I just can't go through it. Not for the second time."

Caroline backed away again and slowly sat on the floor.

"Is that why you're here? To make me feel that again?"

She felt more than heard boy walking closer. And just before he touched her, she flinched and Stefan's hand froze in the middle of movement.

"Don't touch me. I swear. Don't."

"Why?" his voice was barely above the whisper.

"Because if you touch me... I'm not sure what follows..."

Caroline was shaking again, she could feel the tears coming and she just wanted him to leave. But as usual, Stefan did the exact opposite. She felt him sit beside him and talk.

"I know that I can't take back those things I said and did, but I'll try my best making it up to you. I wasn't sure what I felt, until you were gone. And suddenly it hit me. I wish it had been sooner, but it wasn't."

Caroline felt an arm around her and suddenly the dam broke. She just curled herself and sobbed.

"I can't come back. I don't need your pity."

Stefan used his other arm to lift her chin and look in her eyes.

"I will never pity you. No one can pity you. Listen to me, Caroline. I'm doing this, because as much as you need me, I need you also. I miss you."

She tried to look away, but she couldn't.   
_See, that's why you couldn't contact him, before leaving home._

"I can't be friends with you."

Corner of his mouth rose a bit. "I'm not asking you to."

When Caroline looked at him confused, he managed to smile a little. "You don't get it, do you? I figured out what I want, Caroline."

Suddenly she felt her heart starting to beat quicker.   
_He can't be meaning what I think he does. Can he?_ She couldn't help but just stare at him. Which of course, despite the seriousness of situation, made him chuckle. Because Caroline literally looked like a deer caught in headlights. He raised his arm to brush away hair that had fallen on her face, before leaning in and murmuring.

"I'm sorry it took me so long." With these words his lips touched hers hesitantly at first. When Caroline overcame the initial surprise, he felt her responding and deepened the kiss. She was the first to break it apart.

"I... Stefan, listen-..."

Stefan didn't move, he just held her.

"Don't. Just let me hold you before you say me to get the hell out of here. Just give me this one moment."

Caroline looked at him and found herself saying " I just thought that we would be more comfortable in the house."

"Can't get in," boy reminded her.

"Can. House belongs to me. My great uncle left it to me actually." Now she was already smiling.

"Well... Let's go then."

They both stood. Before entering the house, Caroline looked at him more seriously. "You're not totally forgiven though. We will talk about it again in the morning, while you're making breakfast." She winked and grabbed her mug, before going inside. Stefan shook his head, smiled and followed her.   
Breakfast it is then.


End file.
